u/Consistent-Lynx-149

It’s been a year since I left my abuser.
I thought I was doing better, but seeing friends of my abuser while out last night sent me into a drunk spiral and blackout. Alone. In public. Fortunately I made it home safe.

Ive been doing this on my own. I have no friends or community, the abuser took them. I’m on a waitlist for trauma therapy.

Going outside at all has been a huge challenge over the last year. I’ve slowly been trying to make friends. But now I trust myself even less.

It’s likely I will run into people from that time of my life often, even though I intentionally stay out any place I used to go to a year ago.

Does anyone have any tips for these situations?
I don’t want to hide in my apartment the rest of my life.

This is not a success story. This is my nervous system finally getting relief. If you are having trouble letting the old story go, try this.

It’s so simple, I wish I’d done it earlier but maybe I wasn’t ready.

I’ve been working on an SP manifestation for an embarrassingly long time. The problem I believe is I’d constantly oscillate between the old and new story.

The old story is about as bad a nightmare as you can imagine. I’ve spent alot of time analyzing what made me create that mess.

A year later I was still waiting on an apology. Completely baffled by SPs actions. It just kept getting worse.

I came home the other night in a drunk spiral and wrote an angry text in my phone notes to SP that I fortunately didn’t send.
I read it over the next morning and felt like an insane person.
Then I did something else. I deleted the text and wrote myself the apology I wanted in my notes instead.

Throughout the day when the old angry story showed up I’d just go read the apology again.

And. I’m not angry anymore. It’s all resolved it my head. It’s my apology and it’s perfect. The underlying anger that’s been boiling in me for a year just stopped.

Is an actual apology actually gonna show up?
Maybe. It’s only been a few days.
But I don’t really need it anymore.

I don’t know what it is. It’s been going on for 5 days.
I can sit here all day and tell myself, it’s not real. It’s all coming from you….

But I just feel like a worst case scenario has manifested.
I can feel it. It won’t go away. I ignore it and the thought comes right back.

How do you get yourselves out of these moods?