I know this is horrible on my part already. I’m not posting this for validation but for advice from people who have been through similar situations.
So my ex cheated on me a while back after a year and a half of dating. I thought I was over it. Yet I still carry thoughts about her, as in seeing things that remind me of her.
We broke up in January of this year very toxically. In late March I found this new girl that fit all of my interests and loved the same hobbies I do. She treats me great, cares about me a lot, she even reassures me, and over she’s probably better for me then my ex ever was. She can get pretty dramatic and it makes everything feel so emotionally heavy and draining. I got bored with her if I’m being honest and instead of being mature and talking I ended up texting my ex.
My ex and I now currently text and occasionally hangout from time to time. The part that confuses me is that I don’t really feel a spark with my ex anymore and I can really just hangout and have fun as friends. I think it’s because we have been through so much together and we’re just comfortable.
But at the same time if I was actually over her I most likely wouldn’t have reached out the second my relationship started feeling less exciting.
I feel so guilty now because the girl I’m with now doesn’t deserve any of this. She’s been nothing but great and polite. I know how unfair it is so stay with someone while you have another person on your mind. I’ve been on the other side of the stick.
I think I got into a relationship before I fully healed from getting cheated on. I miss the relationship me and my ex had even though she hurt me badly. I hate admitting to that, it makes me feel horrible.
I don’t want to hurt either person. Plus I know this is all my fault. I just need advice from people who have been through similar experiences. I feel so mentally stuck between the past and the present.
TLDR: I never fully healed from past relationship after getting cheated on, dating someone new, got bored/disconnected, texted my ex and now I feel guilty