I’m miserable rant
Has anyone else grown up being extremely jaded. I’ve lost a ton of friends in my life but looking back I’d never want to be friends with them because of how badly I’ve been treated. I’ve been told I’m extremely negative person but I wouldn’t be this way if I was actually liked??? I’ve been lied to, turned on, completely excluded in church, school, sorority etc. to me there’s nothing to be positive about. I watch people lie and cheat bur as soon as I say one thing I’m the villain I every story. By people that have quite literally never spoken to me. Negative or not it’s genuinely unbelievable that even In college I’ve been told to KMS a few times and been physiologically abused by people.
What makes it worse for me is when people are nice or tell me I’m “attractive” but we’re not friends ? I don’t have a bf. I’ve Never had one. Four years of college and I’ve been on maybe 4 dates which weren’t good. I want a guy to actually like me. There’s no point in all this if I can’t make it happen. I almost don’t care how many horrible stories I hear. You Had a bf I can’t even get ONE. Then I watch all these girls go to formal or go out with friends etc I haven’t had one experience in college that hasn’t been destroyed. I mainly spend my time alone in my room bc the less I interact with people the less I’m reminded of what a waste of college this all was. My main wish is that I could go get a new look, personality, and life so I could be surrounded by some sort of good.