24F concerned about 37M lack of effort in relationship. How to address?
I 24F have been with my boyfriend 37M for almost 3 years. As time progresses I have noticed a lack of effort that is concerning to me. For some context, he’s very active with raising our child and helping around the house. So, effort is shown in that area of our relationship. The other aspects of our relationship is where effort is lacking.
Some examples:
In our almost 3 years of dating, he has never expressed how he feels about me. Has only ever told me he loves me.
He never compliments me. Never says my makeup looks good, outfit looks good, I look pretty today etc. I have to ask if he thinks something looks good or pretty to get compliments on it.
Never physically intimate outside of when he wants to have sex. I initiate the occasional peck on the lips or hugs. He will not hold my hand, hold me, kiss me unless I initiate.
He does not plan dates or make plans of any kind.
He never posts me on social media, expresses how he feels about me on social media. Not even happy birthday or happy Mother’s Day.
He doesn’t believe in celebrating anniversaries. Even though I have expressed they are important to me.
Marriage talk has been avoided as well as buying house plans.
The icing on the cake was this Mother’s Day. I have felt utterly unappreciated. No plans were made. No card no flowers no gifts. He stated he ordered some stuff but it hasn’t arrived yet. I left for plans with family and came back home. He bought me legos. (For context, I love legos, it’s just a lack of planning or effort or like he had to get me something that made me upset.) No happy Mother’s Day posts.
Every time I feel like there is a lack of effort into our relationship I go back to how active of a father he is and how much work he does around the house. Our anniversary is in less than a week and I doubt we will celebrate it in any way. I feel like our son is more important to him than our relationship some days.
This will be my longest relationship to date. I’m unsure if this is normal or maybe I’m being unrealistic.