so a few months ago i lost my virginity and when me and the him ended things i was really upset and just wanted to move on. i ended up going out with some friends and got really drunk, i met this guy (m25), im f(18) just fyi. we talked for a bit with friends and we all went to a different bar.
i had a free house and ended up inviting him back to mine. at the time i wanted to move on and was into it, i thought he was cute and i was upset abt being broken up with.
my friend was at my house as well but ended up leaving when after not long to go back to hers, i walked into my room and he was already in my bed in his boxers. i got changed into pyjamas in my bathroom and went and hopped into bed and put the tv on.
he immediately started making out with me and i was okay with it and then he started to move his hands and my hands further down and then he tried to have sex with me and i said im really drunk i don’t want to.
he said that it was fine and that he was drunk too and it didn’t matter and i kept saying i just wanted to go to bed and i was tired and drunk while we were still kissing.
i ended up sort of pushing him off and rolling over to go to sleep. after a few minutes he started touching me again and moved my hands to his dick and i said no i want to go to bed and he was shushing me and telling me it’s okay.
we ended up having sex because i felt like it was the only thing that would make him stop asking and i was scared, he was a lot stronger, taller and older than me.
to this day i still think about it and don’t know if what happened is something i’m allowed to be upset over or call rape/sexual assault because i was the one the invited him back to my house and even though i said no i still let him do it if you know what i mean?
idk i just need some opinions on this, sorry for the long post.