u/Conscious_Stretch_13

Hi, F22 here. I never use filters sa lahat ng pictures ko sa social media accounts ko. Then, there's this one guy I met here on Reddit. We talked here and things went well, kaya lumipat kami sa IG. I don’t have any posts sa IG ko—only my profile pic is there. Visible naman yung face ko dun kasi it was a mirror pic.
The thing is, I’m falling for this guy na rin, and he always asks me every time if pwedeng magkita kami. He even offered to pick me up or even hang out sa nearest park sa bahay namin. I'm just afraid na baka pag nakita nya ako, he’ll be disappointed and won't have that same enthusiasm na like he always does every time we talk. Natatakot talaga ako na ma-disappoint sya.
Well, I don’t really find myself attractive and I’m trying to fix that naman ever since. Kasi I’ve been bullied so hard way back in elementary and high school. So growing up, talagang mababa yung self-confidence ko. I’m always compared to my sisters, eh. Lagi silang kinukuha sa weddings as "abay" and sa mga "Parada," but it’s never been me.
Every time na may family gatherings, I’m always hiding. Kasi every time na nakikita ako ng mga relatives namin, they always say, “’Yan ba anak nina...?” or “Ay, mas maganda yung mga ate, ano?” but then they'll follow up with, “Buti matangkad at sexy.” I always get the joke na “hipon,” and honestly, I don’t think someone will ever love me as I am.
Haha, sorry, naparant na ako dito sa post na ‘to

I just want to vent.

I am currently a fourth-year IT student, and I am feeling immense pressure as graduation approaches. To be honest, I’m not particularly good at programming. While technology genuinely fascinates me and I love the field, I’ve realized that I don't enjoy the grueling process of debugging for hours or even days. The endless sleepless nights and hundreds of bottles of Kopiko Lucky Day we endured for past projects made me realize that a career in heavy development isn't for me.

We are currently finishing our internships, and it seems like almost everyone in my class is about to be absorbed by their respective companies. They have employment waiting for them right after graduation, and while I am genuinely happy for them, I can’t help but feel left behind.

I’ve been trying to upskill by taking free courses and earning certificates in Data Analytics, Cloud Engineering, Cybersecurity, and even AI/ML. However, after completing a course, I often find myself jumping to another field to explore, hoping I'll eventually find what I truly enjoy. I’m starting to feel like I’m running out of time, and I’m terrified that I’ll never find my "true calling."

Adding to my anxiety is the fact that my siblings found jobs within a month of graduating without much struggle. I’m scared that no one will hire me because the IT field is becoming so competitive. To be honest, I’m just really afraid of what life looks like after graduation.

May naka-experience ba dito na naging student ni late Sen. Miriam Defensor Santiago?