u/Conscious_Life_6724

Hi everyone!

My partner quit meth several months ago and hasn't drank in almost just as long. He was diagnosed with herpes years ago, but his flare-ups have been more common since getting soher. Withdrawal can lead to stress, poor sleep, etc., which are well-known triggers for outbreaks, and post-meth, the body has to rebalance everything - brain, sleep immune system, etc.

We went from having sex regularly to maybe twice over the past 2-3 months. Our connection otherwise is incredible. I'm his first sober relationship and according to him, it's the healthiest and happiest relationship he's ever had. In the past, as a meth and sex addict, flings and short-lived relationships were standard. He also distanced himself from friends that use, so naturally, his life has been far less chaotic. We never argue and are both extremely laid back, but I know that the daily struggle as an addict in recovery is something I'll never fully grasp personally. I've been extremely patient and understanding though, because I love and care about him very much.

I've posted on Reddit before after reading that when someone quits meth, fatigue, ED and low libido are common, and the brain has to recalibrate after being overstimulated for such a long period of time. Those who responded reassured me that the lack of sex has nothing to do with me, and that initially, the brain craves dopamine after quitting, leading to frequent sex, then that lessens as person relearns how to reintroduce sex in a healthy way without substances.

With recovery, he's been heavily set on rebuilding his life, hyper-focusing on work and stability. I know it's a huge emotional recovery process as well, so there are days when he's totally depleted mentally/emotionally.

Anyway, I'm wondering if anyone here has dealt with recovery from meth while having herpes. If so, what helped? He takes medication during flare-ups, stays hydrated, eats well and is pretty active.

Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you!

Hi all!

My boyfriend quit using meth about a half a year ago. He chose to do so for himself, by himself, and distanced himself from friends who were doing it. He quit drinking too and has been pretty hyperfocused on working/staying busy and usually lays low at home otherwise. We started becoming intimate a bit after he quit and at first, we were having a ton of sex. He couldn't keep his hands off of me. After a month or two, we got a roommate and had sex occasionally still, then it came to a sudden halt. We had sex, about a month passed, then we had sex again and it's been about a month, again. I've talked to him about it and he's been pretty transparent. He used meth for a long time, and Viagra, and admitted that he was a sex addict. I'm his first sober relationship, and this is the longest he's been sober in a very long time. He told me it's the happiest, healthiest relationship he's ever had. We cook and eat together, play games together, watch movies, cuddle, kiss, etc., but the making out and sex went out the window. He's also not as cuddly. Still cuddly but not as much. Sometime last month or the month before, I asked if he thinks his sex drive would return, and he said he wasn't sure when or if it would. He went from being super horny to nothing at all. Even if I'm nearly naked, nothing happens. He swears he still finds me attractive and that nothing's wrong, but it still sucks that I got used to him grabbing me and being turned on all of the time and lost it all. I've read that low/loss of libido is common when quitting meth. I've read that it can take months, sometimes even over a year, for sex drive to return as the person's brain is recalibrating after being on that fake high for so long. He's the sweetest guy I've ever dated and I adore the hell out of him. We never argue and are constantly cracking up over the dumbest stuff. I've also been in a lot of really toxic, abusive relationships in the past where no sex meant they were cheating... and that just isn't the case here. This is the first relationship I've had where I feel safe and can be my full authentic self.

I wonder if he's less focused on sex because he formerly associated it with drugs. He said he wasn't proud of how he'd acted and is basically relearning everything sober.

Our connection, sex aside, is absolutely wonderful. I know he feels safe and comfortable with me.

What I'm trying to get at is – has anyone experienced this? Whether you've been the person in recovery or were dating someone in recovery? Any advice?

Hi all!

My boyfriend quit using meth about a half a year ago. He chose to do so for himself, by himself, and distanced himself from friends who were doing it. He quit drinking too and has been pretty hyperfocused on working/staying busy and usually lays low at home otherwise. We started becoming intimate a bit after he quit and at first, we were having a ton of sex. He couldn't keep his hands off of me. After a month or two, we got a roommate and had sex occasionally still, then it came to a sudden halt. We had sex, about a month passed, then we had sex again and it's been about a month, again. I've talked to him about it and he's been pretty transparent. He used meth for a long time, and Viagra, and admitted that he was a sex addict. I'm his first sober relationship, and this is the longest he's been sober in a very long time. He told me it's the happiest, healthiest relationship he's ever had. We cook and eat together, play games together, watch movies, cuddle, kiss, etc., but the making out and sex went out the window. He's also not as cuddly. Still cuddly but not as much. Sometime last month or the month before, I asked if he thinks his sex drive would return, and he said he wasn't sure when or if it would. He went from being super horny to nothing at all. Even if I'm nearly naked, nothing happens. He swears he still finds me attractive and that nothing's wrong, but it still sucks that I got used to him grabbing me and being turned on all of the time and lost it all. I've read that low/loss of libido is common when quitting meth. I've read that it can take months, sometimes even over a year, for sex drive to return as the person's brain is recalibrating after being on that fake high for so long. He's the sweetest guy I've ever dated and I adore the hell out of him. We never argue and are constantly cracking up over the dumbest stuff. I've also been in a lot of really toxic, abusive relationships in the past where no sex meant they were cheating... and that just isn't the case here. This is the first relationship I've had where I feel safe and can be my full authentic self.

I wonder if he's less focused on sex because he formerly associated it with drugs. He said he wasn't proud of how he'd acted and is basically relearning everything sober.

What I'm trying to get at is – has anyone experienced this? Whether you've been the person in recovery or were dating someone in recovery? Any advice?