I’m so lost right now!
Hi! I’m a 25F working in the medical field, and honestly… I think I’m having an identity crisis.
I used to work in a hospital setting where I handled patients directly, and I loved it so much. It gave me a sense of purpose and fulfillment. I genuinely felt alive knowing that I was helping people. I was passionate about what I did, and despite how exhausting it could be, I always had the energy and motivation to work.
The problem was the salary. It was so low that I could barely support myself, let alone help my family financially.
So I decided to switch to remote work because the pay was better. And don’t get me wrong — I still work hard. I’ve even received awards and recognition in my current job. But the difference is… it doesn’t feel like passion anymore. It feels like survival. Money became my motivation instead of purpose.
And every time I see something related to my profession, or when I see my batchmates growing in the career we all worked so hard for, it honestly hurts. A part of me wants to quit and go back to the hospital because I know I was good at it, and I know I loved it.
But reality hits me immediately.
My dad is sick, and right now I’m one of the main people supporting my family. Quitting feels irresponsible and selfish sometimes. I keep thinking: “If I’m already struggling financially with my current salary, how much harder would life be if I went back?”
I feel stuck between passion and practicality.
Sometimes I even question myself now: after being away from the field for years… am I still even good at it?
I don’t know if I’m overthinking everything or if this is something other people experience too. Has anyone ever felt torn between choosing the career they love and the career that actually pays the bills? How did you deal with it?
PS: English is not my first language, so I used ChatGPT to help me organize and polish my thoughts better.