I (27) and she (20) have gone through three cycles of breaking up and reconciling, but today I have decided there will be no fourth return. Although I attempted one last reconciliation recently, I’ve realized that my future can no longer rest in her hands. I understand that I will always love her, but I recognize, above all, that a relationship between us is simply not possible at this time.
Being her first boyfriend, I feel a deep spiritual barrier: my spirit rejects the idea of a future union if she ever gives herself to another man. To me, if that happens, everything we shared would be profaned. I know that expecting her to remain chaste as she matures is nearly impossible, and I do not wish to harbor unrealistic expectations.
Therefore, I accept that there is no path back to my TF in this lifetime. Despite the love I feel, I understand we cannot be together. I have chosen to let her go, to live her own life, and in doing so—and in praying for her—I find peace. I will keep her in my heart with love, but our union is over, unless the unlikely miracle occurs and she remains guarded.