How do we make this work? 31M, 41F
My (31M) ex fiancée (41F) and I broke up recently and decided it’s best if we try to reset and be friends again to build a solid foundation.
We’ve been together since June of last year, but have broken up several times since. This has been an emotional rollercoaster for the both of us, and we cannot manage to make it work even though we both rarely argue when we’re together.
We both work together (I own my business, she handles the office side of it while I take care of the fieldwork) and she also manages a law firm in the morning. We work great together. The whole company still thinks we’re together, but we don’t tell anyone that we’re not.
For reference, this last time we broke up was over her calling me an effin ediot (spelled wrong on purpose to not get reported). She said it was in a playful manner, I said I would never let those words roll off my tongue because I respect you too much and asked for an apology. She refused until I pushed for it and she finally did apologize, hung up the phone, and went ghost on me for a couple of days until I reached out.
When I did reach out, she said she feels it’s a maturity gap and she can’t do this anymore and thinks it’s best if we just try to make it work as friends. I agreed and said okay because when it comes to relationship issues it’s either we do what she says or we lose communication forever. I obviously still love her, I want to try and make it work, hence is why we’re being “friends” at the moment.
The only thing is we only communicate when it relates to work. We don’t speak outside of work related topics. We have a dinner reservation coming up next weekend for her birthday, and I’m not sure if I should hold it or cancel it.
She was in a previous marriage before, had 2 kids with him (both in their 20’s) and had a kid with another man afterwards and he’s currently a teenager. I have no kids. Just my dog and cats and operate my business.
I can foresee what the comments will look like to find someone else, but she’s really a good woman. I want to at least try to make this work. Any advice?