Does my mother even love me.
I'm so tired right now and I will not give context to the reasons of our issues. I'm a young female. I pretended to fall down after she beat me and she and the rest of the family just passed by my supposedly unconscious self like nothing (I mean idk it wasn't like the real thing obviously I can't replicate going mute or fainting perfectly but still I was in a shitty situation to be in and they do not care). If you watched aot, it was similar to the moment ymir fritz fell from the spear and fritz still told her to get up. My mom did just that, after I woke up I pretended to go mute and everyone believed me I guess. They thought it was not permanent and kept talking about how it was all my fault. I gave her a paper saying I could not speak and she looked at me in disgust. Later I was crying and sobbing and begging her to treat me like a human being. Went as far as squeezing my hands to my throat while looking at her and choking. Still, nothing. Called her ex husband aka my dad crying about how she does everything for us and I am ungrateful and disobedient. I won't lie, I threatened her with some heavy shit that I would do to her which I was not obviously not going to, and I said that cuz she pushed me to the edge. I would scream and shriek and my neurodivergant brother would panic and she would yell at him and my other brother to "Don't expect me to fear this animal. DONT BE SCARED OF HER!" While terrorizing me and beating me. Does my mother even love me? I know she's not a narcissist, but she's so traumatized and messed up in the head.
For more context. I'm told by people that my reactions are always overboard. I guess it is because of what I'm feeling and that don't think before I speak. Probably some personality disorder as well. So the reason they did not care is that I usually react strongly to things and I have been for as long as the abuse has been happening.