AIW for getting mad at my friend for not telling me he was out of town
I (22F) have/had a best friend for privacy's sake will be called Micheal(23M). I've known him for three years, and we hit it off as movie buffs, marvel fans and all those geek and nerdy fandoms. We were also part of a larger friend group. Since meeting him Micheal has always said we were best friends and almost like siblings.
I've been planning trips every year for the past 4 years to a coastal town in our state with my college friends, a time to relax and hangout. I have a relative that lets me use a property they own down there to host. I take planning these trips very seriously since it's a huge privilege and responsibility to be able to use it, and try to do it all months in advance (like carpooling, who's going and staying in what rooms, what the date is, what the budget and food options are to accommodate everyone).
This year there was a small change, usually this trip happens on the first weekend of spring break but I moved it to the last weekend for a friend (they live in a different school district so they had a different calendar). This was changed all the way back in December (2025) however, and afterwards it was always the official date for the trip, which was in March (2026).
Months go by and in our group chat all our friends keep talking about the trip and how excited we are, even sending those "do these with your friend group" reels and challenges. Basically talking about everything we wanted to do. Micheal always responded to these conversations and added in on how fun they'll be. He told me he was going, acted like he was going, so I believed he was going. He even asked me if he could bring his dog and I said he could.
The morning we're all supposed to leave, I wake up to some texts in the group chat about people sorting out rides one final time. One person asks who's going with Micheal, and another friend chimes in with "slight problem. he's out of town." He was out of town at another event.
I was flabbergasted, and everyone else was annoyed because what the heck. He never mentioned leaving. He even filled out the food survey I made that week asking for tacos on the trip, and talked about it the day of. He finally responds asking why is everyone "flamming him for liking tacos" all of a sudden and we say it's because he's out of town. He says something like "well, you changed the date." I changed/set the date almost three months ago, and flat out told him not to come then if that was his reason. He said "fine then you won't get to see my dog."
I thought all of his comments were rude and basically blowing off any responsibility of not telling any of us, or at least me, he was out of town. I said "dude i feel sorry cause your dogs stuck with someone who doesn't have the f-ing courtesy to tell someone ahead of time they'll be out of town. You had so much time so f- off." He goes onto say he does this even every year and again I was the one who changed the date. I've gone back through so many messages, and not once since I set the trip date did he tell me he would be out. Or act like it.
I was admittedly upset, and annoyed, so I blew up in the group chat saying "dude i don't care if you go to the moon every year, at least mentioning it that it clashes with other plans. Chime in anytime plans have been made in front of you with a 'oh ill be out so i'll drive myself." or 'ill be there later' or "that date doesn't work is there another". did you do that at any time? NO. Do not get on me for changing a date back in December when I'm finding out day of that your out of town. And not even from you. Do f-ing not."
And that was the last thing I said. Everyone else and I get ready to leave and we go on our trip, with no mention of Micheal other than "so is he coming" and "I have no clue."
Its been two months since all that, and he's not spoken a word to me. No messages, he used to reach out very frequently, and also any group hangout that gets planned where he knows I'll be there he doesn't show up too. From other friends I know he still goes out with them to drink, both with a different group and some people from ours, and he's been hanging out with a girl I don't vibe with anymore too (he knows why).
I'm moving across the state for grad school at the end of July, another reason why this trip was so important to me and getting to spend time with my friends. After the first three weeks of him not reaching out to me I just accepted he was gonna act this way, but with my departure getting closer and closer I'm really starting to wonder if he's just done with me after that, which I could have never imagined from someone who always prided themselves on being my "best friend". It's been so long that I'm really wondering if it's worth it on my end to reach out now, but if this is how he acts I'm not sure I want to.
But was I wrong to begin with?