u/Conscious-Range-631

This whole things is really complicated but i’m gonna try to shorten it. Around November of last year, Me (17 Female) and my mom got into it really bad because she is an alcoholic and was allowing my stepdad to stay in the house after I finally came out last year and admitted he was SA me when I was a child. I told her I didn’t feel comfortable staying there because I was having reoccurring nightmares and asked if I could stay the night at my boyfriends. When I got home the next day my mom told me since I wanted to be grown to get my stuff and find somewhere to go. My boyfriend talked to his grandma and they allowed me to move in with them and that is where I have been staying ever since then. I am also currently working with police after opening a case against my stepfather. Fast forward a week later and My mom took my phone because it was in my stepfathers name, my boyfriend and I went to my old house trying to get the phone back because I payed for it all from working. My stepdad put his hands on my boyfriend and it was a big mess. I finally graduated early in December but chose to walk in may so I could walk with my friends. My mom has always been very involved in my life and pushed me when it came to school so I felt it was common sense to invite her to my graduation, I mean she is my mom and regardless of what has happened between us I appreciate her for the role she played in raising me as she basically did it alone. She also payed for my cap, my gown, and my dress/ shoes for graduation day, so it feels wrong not inviting her. I asked my boyfriend (17 M) to come at first he said yes, then he said he doesn’t want to go because my mom will be there, I explained he doesn’t have to sit with my mom. My friends boyfriend even said he is more than welcome to sit with them. He made a big deal about it and said even if they don’t sit together, he will still have to see her at the end and it will be “a big shit show”. I tried to emphasis how important this is to me and how i’ve been waiting my whole life for this day and he is a very important person to me so it means a lot for him to be there. He basically has said no is his final answer and he won’t come. He said “he doesn’t want to be the only one there who really loves me”. I told him I wasn’t going to force him but I did want him there, and obviously i’m upset he’s not going. Now he’s saying I’m trying to make him go because i’m upset. I feel like I have a right to be upset, we’ve been together for almost 2 years and I only get one graduation. I’m just asking him to put his differences aside for 2-3 hours, he wouldn’t even have to see her he could go to the car after it is over. I feel like this is just a really important day and I don’t understand why he won’t show up for me. It feels harder for me to see my mom than for him to see her. Am I just overacting?