u/ConflictFine2998

The only reason why I am still alive to this day is because of my mother and sister. We already experienced a lot of death in the family the last couple of years and I know they will take their own life if I take mine and I would hate myself even more to be the cause of their deaths. I’m constantly calling into work because iIt’s hard for me to get up and do basic things like take a shower, brush my teeth, wash my hair etc. And when I’m at work I’m miserable i have to take multiple breaks to sit down and cry. I have no friends zero at all no one to talk no one to hang out with and it’s been like that for years now it’s starting to break me. I don’t want to talk to my family about my depression because I don’t want them scared and on edge all the time. They deserve peace and I don’t want to ruin that. Last year I tired everything to fill better, doing hobbies, exercising, and trying to meet new people but it didn’t work. Last night was my breaking point I was hanging with my Situationship and I was expressing how the things he says and does to me hurt instead of listening and understanding we argued and I drove home. While driving home I was upset and crying and distracted so I hit a huge curb and totaled my car. So now I just find it hard to continue on with my life