Few days ago me and my partner got into a conflict because i handled something poorly and when he got upset about it the fight turned into me getting irritated and my voice got louder which really pissed him off because one he got yelled at and two again I handled something poorly which affected him when i was doing a medical practice on him for my university and he got physically hurt by accident
After the medical situation i tried to play it cool and not mention his tone change and he kept insisting on knowing whats wrong and eventually he guessed what was wrong and i told him i am not upset by his tone i was just weirded out by it he started walking faster and saying its fine i will turn out to be in the wrong again and i argued with him that i cant control my facial expressions and my voice got louder he got super angry and told me to lower my voice and he then left to his work
I texted him thanking him for coming to my medical practice and he didnt answer me for a whole day and the next day i called and he answered me saying he needed that space because i keep repeating the same pattern which is talking loudly and that the situation left a bad taste in his mouth and he is choosing to focus on him self
A little thing to note as well is that few days before this fight he told me that he is hurt by me and feel like he is scared to open up to me because i mentioned how i felt like he doesn’t see how i try after he mentioned me not doing something he wanted me to do to show affection
I understand he is hurt i genuinely do but i don’t want to lose him and i want to do better and make him trust me again
I dont know if this information would help but i have borderline personality disorder/ adhd and struggle to remember small details or talking when i am focusing on something or doing something with another people
He mentioned few times before that he always text me even when he is busy and i dont do the same when i am busy unless he texts me first and that if i texted he would feel important and its a type of affection he likes
I do text but the thing is multiple times when i remember to text he will be already texting me before i do and the situation repeats
When i talked to my sister and mom about it they called me selfish and that he is right to be upset and i understand i am trying to do better by taking a behavioral therapy course to be more emotionally stable and tolerable and being less loud and to control my facial expressions
Am also trying to be more attentive in texting and initiating calls or basically telling him i miss him here and there
Is there anything i can do that could make it better and how can i regain his trust?
I understand being with a gf with bpd is hard but i still want to make it work and to make him happy
Thank you for reading