Almost out of the 1st trimester but the nausea and fatigue is truly bringing me to my knees while chasing my 1 year olds who are very mobile and climbing and just very chaotic. I am leaning a lot on ms Rachel on days when I can barely get the energy to stand (it’s that bad sometimes) so I feel really guilty. I don’t have a village it’s just me and we can’t really afford consistent held right now.
Just doing the minimum in terms of keeping everyone clean fed and moderately entertained….kitchen and living room is a chronic disaster and my type A self is slowly dying inside. And honestly I do lash out every few days at my husband who is doing his best to help (dealing with most night wakings, laundry and cleaning once he’s home from work) and I just don’t feel like myself this is such a trying season. I need to deal with the stress in a more adult way, I truly feel like a whiny baby.
I also have a lot of anxiety about baby arriving and what that is going to be like. Anyway….i guess I’m venting and hoping to hear from some who have made it to the other side and have good experiences to encourage me. My body is at that point where I’m really starting to show (so much earlier than with my twins!) and I just feel overall uncomfortable in my skin + sick + like a total failure to my children and my household. Anyway….also mix this with much gratitude that so far this pregnancy is as healthy as can be. I’m a damn mess. Thanks all. Total stream of consciousness I’m sorry.