My (42,f) husband (53) neglects me. I have started traveling extended trips because he seems to be happier when I’m gone. He doesn’t touch me, calls as an obligation and seems generally happier when he’s alone. After 17 years, he has checked out. He has health things going on but has enough energy & time to have a social life, which makes his disregard for me that much more hurtful. Time for friends but no time for the wife.
My husband is a good provider. At one time he was a good husband. Now he seems to be happy to pay for me to go anywhere but home. Sadly, a recent diagnosis has kept me domestic recently, but I do enjoy travel. I appreciate that he provides, but I feel like an annoyance to him for wanting a cuddle, to shower together or God forbid something sexual.
He seems to think that bc I travel I should be content with no sex of any kind, no kissing, no flirting…nothing. He acts like him paying our my travel means I’m not allowed to be unhappy.
Today I was crying on the phone to him about feeling unwanted & unloved and he started talking to the dog. I felt like such an idiot for crying to this man bc I want him and the dog gets his attention.
Therapy with him is a nightmare bc he manipulates the therapist. So I don’t think that will help.
So do I just get my own place in the area I love or is it worth trying to save? When a man tells you with his actions that you’re unwanted, should you believe him or fight for the marriage? He says he loves me & of to stay married. His actions do not align. 17 years of fidelity was something I was proud of but now I feel humiliated at the thought that I have given him all those years & my resentment is turning into anger.
No issues with cheating on either side. No porn, drug, etc issues.
Tl;dr Husband neglected me after 17 years. Do I fight for it or leave? Getting past resentment.