A bad 🍄 trip has ruined me.
Hey guys, I'm here to talk about my experience and and im trying to recover atm but it's been the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
A few months ago I took about 7.5 grams and smoked a little weed.
At first I was fine, I was watching a show with my girlfriend and I was with a friend who did it with me. Then out of nowhere there was this poster on my wall, he had a glowing red dot in his eye and it was all I could focus on at one point. I remember feeling a booming intensity and it was speaking to me but I'm not sure what it said. All I remember was coming to the conclusion that everything i ever knew was gonna die. Everyone. And I remember talking to my friend about it and my sister in the background just confused. Then I started talking back like saying thats messed up why would you do that. I felt like I watched the end of the whole universe or something.
Then after like 45 minutes I was fine, then I wasn't. I would just see a giant x every where I looked and it was so intense. I kept thinking I was in space. That I (Me) was gonna end everything staring at the x. That was pointed at a dot. Every app I went to to distract myself there was an x. I've never been more fearful in my life.
To be clear I had ALOT of trauma growing up. I feel like I healed from that. I used to be an atheist. Toxic, bpd etc and I realized we were all one and I started to be more loving towards everything around me. I never had thoughts of death before and I was shrouded in selfishness. It changed me but I still feel so scared, I can't eat or sleep. I try to turn to religion and spirituality. I can't tell if it was my shadow self, some type of vision or just a bad trip. Any words will be helpful for I don't have many people to talk to about this.