u/Confident-Review-822

For context, my (F19) boyfriend’s (M21) best friend is his ex. To be honest, I don’t know much about her, he rarely talks about her to me. All I know is she is the “girl best friend”.

I’ve expressed before how it makes me uncomfortable his best friend is his ex and someone he’s been intimate with. We’ve had a talk about it before and that ended up in him cutting her off. Later on, I told him it’s not his fault that I have my insecurities and I wanted them to be friends again if that’s what he wanted. However I also expressed setting boundaries, etc. He did end up talking to her again, yet never told me when he did. I had to find out by asking if they had talked, weeks after he started talking to her.

Recently when me and my boyfriend were hanging out, I was sending myself pictures from his phone and found messages between him and her. It surprised me to see how much they were talking when my boyfriend said he rarely talked to her anymore. I had also found many messages of him ranting about me (mostly when we were having a big fight). Me and him also have had discussions on what we could do to improve in the relationship. I had told him somethings (I won’t list) and I found out he had been asking his best friend if she thought the same, if he needed to improve on that when they were in a relationship, etc.

I don’t want to be the crazy girlfriend that makes my boyfriend cut off all his friends or something like that. But their relationship makes me so uneasy. In some ways I can understand ranting to your best friend, but with your best friend being your ex? So, AIO?