I've had mixed feedback from friends and family and am uncertain as to whether or not I judged my ex too harshly (in regards to these particular instances):
Example 1: Lied about previous partners when we began dating. That is to say, she had sexual interactions with many of the friends that she was still actively hanging out with and lied about each and every one of them when confronted. It's not that I would have forbade her from hanging out with them if I'd known- to be honest, I didn't actually care- but I feel like it's perfectly natural to want to know about these things in case of suspicious behavior from any relevant parties, and that it's a blaring red flag for her to assume I'd not want to date her & subsequently hide these things from me so that I 'wouldn't run away'.
Example 2: One person in particular she introduced as a friend and nothing more. I find out from her sister, later on, that this was actually an ex of hers that she'd dated for over a year. I was suddenly a lot less comfortable with the one on one time that they'd spend together- again, namely because she hid it from me. I'm not in the "exes can never be friends" camp, but if you feel the need to lie to your partner about your past history with this person, then it immediately raises the "maybe not so platonic or innocent" flag for me. Eventually she agreed that it would best to simply cut contact with this person and showed me that she blocked them on social media. I find out a year later that she kept their number added secretly and texted them to "only message (her) here so my gf won't find out."
Example 3: Same with the last example, I actually only found this out when I asked to see her phone / social media. At this point, I already knew the relationship was over, but I was stuck in that really awful spiral of "what if I'm crazy and my boundaries are just too extreme?" ...One of her friends had been very brazenly asking her for nudes and sending her (banana) pics for months. Her response to the last one? "Delete that so my gf doesn't see it. She'd be so mad." And then they continue chatting like nothing. Her defense is that she never asked for the pics and never sent him any in return, but I personally considered it cheating because I feel like the natural response is to A.) block him and move on, or B.) tell me, block him, and move on. They weren't close at all, so I haven't the slightest idea outside of maybe liking the attention as to why she'd be compelled to keep him added and hide it from me.
I feel like our relationship was absolutely littered in little micro-cheating transgressions like this, but many of our mutual friends don't seem to take these seriously at all since none of them were her just blatantly having an affair. Any input from an outside perspective would be appreciated.