AITA for not wanting to text
AITA for not wanting to have long, deep, meaningful conversations over text messages?
TLDR: now-ex wouldn't give me the time to have long deep, meaningful conversations face to face. She preferred hours long text chats while both of us were in bed trying to go to sleep.
My long time friend from HS (43f) and I (44m) have been talking a lot over the last 2.5 years. She was going through some hard times and I was there for her. We would go to the park near her house and talk. Nothing was off limits. NOTHING! I convinced her to leave her mentally and emotionally abusive husband.
During that time, we grew incredibly close and started testing the waters on becoming more than just friends. Neither of us set out on that course, but it just happened, as I'd only ever seen her as just a friend. We were never official, seeing as she was getting divorced and I didn't want to press the issue.
The problem arose after we were able to move her into her own place with a new roomie. We were still as close as when we started, if not closer. Our talks slowly stopped happening. I confronted her about this and she said that she was super busy and was uncomfortable taking in front of the roomie. Understandably, she was busy and I wanted privacy too. We would still talk in person and text all the time, but nothing of great substance. I told her my hatred for texting. It's slower than talking. Things get out of order or not seen. There's a delay on responses. Texts get forgotten and never returned to for something just sent. I can't hold the other person through a text. I can't look into her eyes.
Again, I told her that I needed some face to face time to talk. Her idea was to use the time in the car as I drove us places as prime time to talk. While not wrong, I didn't like the idea as I needed to concentrate on the road and my ability to hold a proper conversation would be impacted. Also, if the conversation got deep, I didn't want to drive while crying or show up somewhere compromised.
Last night, we were both having a hard time and I wanted to see her, talk to her, and hold her. She was too busy. She wasn't too busy to text literally all night long. I went to work with 0 minutes of sleep. We ended our situation. One of the issues brought up was her inability to prioritize her time for me when I needed it most. Not prioritize me over everything else, just when it mattered. She admitted her mistake, took blame, and apologized.