u/Confident-Carpet1768

I work at Starbucks.

I have a pretty visible scar across my eye, I dress kind of dark, and I don't really smile at strangers (unless I mean it).

Apparently, this combination reads as "ew do not approach."

Customers talk to my coworkers before they talk to me even when I'm clearly the one free. People on the subway shift slightly when I sit down. A girl at work told me she was GENUINELY trying to compliment me but that she was "scared of me at first."

Like huh I'm not even that intimidating

I go home and play Minecraft and talk to my mom on the phone every night. I legit cried at a dog video last week.

Idk why "quiet" and "has a scar" adds up to "unapproachable" in people's heads but it's kinda exhausting being a person people decide things about before you open your mouth.

To be crystal clear, I am not perfect, and on the autism spectrum, I regularly miss basic social cues. My idea of flirting is kinda weird.. I just info dump about my hyper fixations until the other person’s eyes glaze over. Yes ikr awkward.

But JEEZ the guys in my generation are driving me up the wall with how they try to interact with women.

It’s not just normal, but it is turning into this pseudo-incel behavior that is completely rotting their brains. They treat girls like video game NPCs where if you just give the right dialogue options, a relationship is supposed to dispense like a vending machine.

Literally last week when one of my friends friend, that was a guy, had the courage to go talk to a girl at my local coffee shop who was clearly deep into a book. She smiled and told him “I’m busy”, which is fine, but what he did next was unexpected. When he sat down he told us that she’s a “stuck up 10 who only wants a Chad” and how modern dating is rigged.

These dudes will just stand in the corner at social events (which I don’t go to), staring at women, expecting them to do all the approaching like cmon we don’t even bite. They go on reddit or discord whining how lonely they are and the need to fix their jawline to attract us cuz some guru online said so.

It’s exhausting. All you have to do if a girl isn’t interested in talking to you, you just say “have a good one” and walk away! Like this shouldn’t be hard to understand unless I am going crazy?!

So, I have to ask the older guys on here:

Was it always like this?

Did you guys have to go through a phase of acting this resentful, awkward, and weird around women when you were growing up, and then just learned better? Or has this modern culture destroyed my generations ability to just talk to us like normal human beings?

Please tell me they grow out of this cuz I am seriously losing it.

I’ve been trying for ages to defeat the ender dragon but like it’s IMPOSSIBLE lol. How do I do defeat it? So many people make it look so easy and I’m just a noob 🥲