u/Confident-Bug8038

Asking Because I keep seeing things like “men won’t approach intimidating looking attractive women” or “men only approach women they think they have a chance with”. In reality, do you approach any woman you find attractive? Or is it something else? Is it women who are attractive and also look nice? Is it if they look respectable or perhaps the opposite, they look like they would hook up with you? I just really want to know the thought process behind this.

I have noticed that people will more and more blame a lot of their self-inflicted issues on other causes instead of themselves. Not saying that all the people who have these issues are at their own fault, but just that some may be. For example, a lot of people have several health issues that could be fixed by lifestyle yet they don’t change anything about their lifestyles and instead act like it is offensive to insinuate that their own health choices could have helped in putting them where they are and blame the medical system. Another example is some people with depression that is most likely caused by horrible lifestyle choices saying it is offensive to try changing your lifestyle choices first and that they should be able to keep rotting and doing nothing. Again, obviously this does not apply to everyone with these conditions. Taking accountability is difficult for everyone so I just don’t understand this culture acting as if taking accountability is blame. Obviously, again, not talking about all hardships people face in life whatsoever.

I have been doing this since a very young age. If you are able to classify and quantify different factors in a human life both physical, conceptual and mostly related to human psychology, and in the reference of time as the final dimension, you can do this. Getting very good at classifying these things and then relating them to each other and applying it through the frame of someone else can give you a pretty good picture of what’s it’s like to be them. Your brain essentially rewires momentarily it’s own experiences and thinking frameworks and simulates quickly what it would be like to go through those variables for a long period of time like the other person’s life and then analyze what human instincts and emotions and neural networks of thoughts would form Because of that and then subsequently how you react to outside stimuli including socializing and interacting with your world. You really learn to step out of yourself completely and simulate the other persons life and then use your own instincts that you are born with and everyone else is to analyze possible reactions of the person. Doing this also immediately helps you understand intent and reason behind a persons actions and also helps to empathize greatly and see the good and bad in everyone and everything no matter how good or bad they seem to be. Unfortunately for me, my brain is constantly in this mode and so I have no strong sense of identity whatsoever because I can consider the sides to everything and every single belief and action without bias and also consider enjoying and disliking everything evenly from different perspectives. I feel like a consciousness in this body who must work it but it doesn’t belong to me because I am an observer.

I (20F) would really like a boyfriend. The problem is I cannot seem to be physically attracted to anyone anymore even though I used to be. Before you say I might be lesbian, I have dated a woman in the past and have also found no attraction. I don’t know why but the idea of anything sexual at the moment just doesn’t appeal to me whatsoever. Sure, I can obviously see when someone is objectively attractive, but then I make out with them and feel absolutely nothing. Even attention from men disinterests me completely now. I get many likes on dating apps and many compliments but I feel nothing seeing them and most of them time am not even bothered to reply to any of my matches. I used to get so excited when I was talking to a potential partner and check my phone all the time, that feeling is completely gone. I feel like a femcel having not had sex in 8 months but every time I have the opportunity to, I just really could not be bothered and have no desire to. I’m still human though and do not wish to be lonely forever and I crave romantic connection. Also weirdly, I do get horny sometimes but I just cannot imagine satisfying that urge with anybody anymore. I’ve even tried to form a deep romantic connection first but that has failed too, no matter how attractive and great personality the guy has. I don’t think I’m asexual because I used to be attracted to men very much, I just don’t know what happened and I don’t know how to fix it but I really want to. Does anyone else have this issue? I don’t know what to do.