u/Confident-Box244

I am poc and raised in pakistan and wasnt really really out there as pansexual cause queerphobia, but dated here and there, but still mostly dated men. Anyways, now i am in europe and mostly into flinta dating spaces but i still have alot of hetero socialisation and self esteem issue. in a dating situation with a man, i do perceive myself as desired but very less with non man person. i actualise and i know i am hot shit but after my dates with expecially white flinta ppl, i feel like yeah they probably dont really like me romantic way and and dont feel that for me. even when they do reassure that they liked spending time with me. I feel like alot of its because of racist beauty standard that we all judge ourselves but also conditioning that only through a male gaze, I can feel that i am desire. Has anyone gone through this? What do you guys think?