I recently got my sleep study results back. I do not technically have apnea (hypopnea index was 3.2, so not high enough for apnea, but my SpO2 dropped as low as 78% and I had about a half hour with 88% or lower).
My provider prescribed oxygen for overnight usage. I guess I'm just wondering what to expect. Any tips for adjusting? Will it help me feel better during the day?
(Obligatory I have been in trauma based therapy for 8 years, I go regularly.)
I know that its trauma and how I was raised and treated. But I can't seem to let go of my own shame and self hatred.
I work a social services job and am constantly thanked. I had a client this week tell me how even if I can't find resources for her it was everything to just have me talk to her and not be judgemental. I taught a budgeting class today and received positive feedback from a client who I didn't think liked the class (his hearing aide died partway through and I was worried he missed too much even though I was trying to keep him up via writing on a dry erase board). It doesn't touch me. It just feels like giving to others is the price I have to pay for being alive.
My partner loves me and tells me all the time that he's proud of me. My dog gets so excited when I walk in the door that he doesn't even bark, he yells. I know I am loved. But I still just feel like a waste of space. I'm safe and everything-- but I live everyday with the belief that I'm worthless and that there is something wrong with me at the core, or everything that has happened wouldn't have happened to me.
I'm so tired of hating myself. I don't know how to stop.
I have lived in my current complex for a little over 3 years. They, as a rule, refuse to fix things. It once took them over a year for a maintenance request. When we got roaches last year as a result of a neighbor's infestation, it took them 3 months to send pest control. You get the idea.
I was told yesterday that sleep study results came back and I need to be on oxygen overnight. The issue is that half of the outlets in our room don't work, and the only directly by our bed sparks and heats up until it shorts if its used. I reported this in August of last year, but here we are.
My partner and I have both called, I have put in a portal request, and I have emailed for confirmation. I have documentation of all of these. However, we are all aware that they're not going to fix it. My current plan is just escrow, but part of me is hoping that because its related to a medical need I could find a way to break lease. The buyout is insanely high so I can't just go that route. Any advice?