Quitting after 7/8 years
And god, I am terrified.
Really just looking for some comfort and advice.
I’m 27F, and have smoked almost daily since I was 19/20. I worry I have stunted myself in terms of emotional regulation, self understanding, and so much more.
I’m quitting. I made the decision for good yesterday and threw everything away. But I am so scared for who I will become without the crutch of weed. Will I still be fun to be around? Will I still make my partner laugh? Will I become a much more irritable, tense, anxious person?
I don’t know. I can’t know. But I want to make this change. I want to breathe easier, I want to be less phlegmy!! I want to not feel dependent on a substance that alters my state of being. I want my skin to clear up! I want to feel like a capable adult, not a teen getting high every night.
I guess I’m really just venting, but I would like to know- have any distractions helped you get through those first few weeks? I find myself thinking over and over about taking a hit as soon as I get home from work, whenever watching tv, whenever eating dinner. I am someone with OCD, so repeated behaviors are a major comfort to me, I miss the physical feeling of lighting a joint and taking a hit…. how do I offer my body an alternative way of soothing that desire?