I am annoyed at MIL from previous visit and partner thinks I'm overreacting.
I'm 20, my MIL and FIL just came for a visit and once they left I told my partner I was embarrassed, he is now sulking in the bedroom and eating in bed (something we both agreed was a no).
So, they decided to drop by unannounced and knock loudly on the door, which woke my 6 month old, criticised me as soon as I opened the door because of how long it took by saying "we weren't sure if anyone was awake". I replied "I made it dark so he could sleep", MIL said "but he's awake now". I rolled my eyes and pretended I hadn't just spent 30 minutes being screamed at because he was tired and couldn't sleep.
Then my MIL went straight to my kitchen, shut the door and phoned a company about my faulty washing machine .(something I could have done and wanted to do, but my bf said MIL should do because she knows what she's doing better) Whilst she was doing that and on hold, she chose to wash dishes I was soaking, wipe down my "filthy" cooker; which had splatter from last night's dinner on and I hadn't gotten round to. Re-organise my spices, wipe down the counters, move the toaster and sort the recycling. I was furious as I heard her doing it and went to see what she was doing. She smiled and innocently said " I don't want to stare out the window while I'm on hold when the kitchen needs sorting". I woke my bf, told him his parents were here and that they woke our son, though he didn't seem to care since he is currently up with him at night time (a responsibility we take turns with).
My MIL resolved the washing machine issue but hasn't shared the full extent of what we have to do so i will have to call her for further help. FIL was reluctant to talk to me and when I made small talk by telling him my bf ordered something for our pets, he replied "I don't see why you won't let them die, it'd save you money and you wouldn't have to go to the pet shop anymore" and laughed like he told a funny joke.
To avoid the silence I opened mail (one letter was about my mental health) and once MIL left the kitchen, she saw the mail and asked what the post was about, I slowly replied "just bills", as i was reading. FIL interjected "doesn't look like it."
As they left, they invited themselves to visit later today to drop something off and said if they can't they'll "pop round later this week" I told them we are busy Wednesday and asked them to message first. FIL said "the boys play football round the corner so I can just stop in on the way there." I am uncomfortable with that and don't want the boys here (my bf's younger brothers). Last time, they rummaged through my cupboards and went in every room, despite my telling them not to, as FIL watched looking bored.
I told my bf as soon as they left that I was embarrassed and that part of those kitchen jobs were his responsibility. I was mid-affixing my spice rack to the wall and his mother rearranged my spices on the counter and moved the spice rack pieces I was working with. If my baby hadn't woken up, I would have organised my kitchen, excluding the jobs I assigned to my bf. He said "I don't get why you're embarrassed, they know we have a baby and she was just trying to help and now you don't have to do any of it." I explained that I don't want her having the impression that we live surrounded by mess, I think she overstepped and there's is a difference between helping and inserting yourself. She inserted herself, hindered what I was doing with the spice rack and most importantly woke our baby. At that point he told me to "f*** off you b***h" said "I'm going back to sleep" I replied "try to wake up in a better mood".
Now I have a teething, wide-awake, overtired, 6 month old who is being fussy and impossible to settle, a frustrated bf and a kitchen I don't recognise.
HELP!!!