u/ComprehensiveSun0526

I don't know if I can let you go. I thought hearing from you once in a blue moon was hard, but not hearing back hurts even worse somehow. I can't let go of how much I love you, but I also can't let go of how badly you hurt me. I begged you to just do one thing to try to make amends, because I love you and I could forgive you if you put in the slightest effort. I just couldn't handle you pretending that acknowledging your mistakes was the same as an apology or a commitment to me.

That's all I've wanted since last March. The kind of commitment you promised to me for years.

Instead I got nothing, so I decided to cut you off. Now I don't know what to do about the phantom pain. You're gone, and it has truly never felt worse. I inexplicably miss you, and everything about you... and I hate that me missing you is my fault. It makes me sick wondering if you're happy or miserable. I don't know whether you being happy or miserable would make me happy. I think I'd just be happy to see your name on my screen. I waited so long for it on April 21st. I love you so much.

Still, thoughts race and ears still ring

Dawn draws near with no relief

Distraught, I think of that painting

To faintest memories I cling

Of joyous times, albeit brief

Still, thoughts race and ears still ring

Shackled to that tune you sing

Your actions betrayed my beliefs

Distraught, I think of that painting

Peace, sometimes, silence might bring

Seldom does it quell my grief

Still, thoughts race and ears still ring

Will there just be suffering?

As I suppress these thoughts beneath

Distraught, I think of that painting

I dreamed of our love enduring

But you turned out to be a thief

Still, thoughts race and ears still ring

Distraught, I think of that painting

I wish you'd respond