Hindi swerte sa magulang, pero swerte sa kapatid
I grew up with an absent father and an abusive mother. I grew up depressed and traumatized because of them and i don’t think they realize they caused it.
But i feel so grateful sa mga kapatid ko. I rarely open up to them but i know how much they care about me and love me.
Recently I had financial issues, mauubos yung savings ko and kulang pa to cover sa kailangan ko. I didn’t know where to get the remaining amount i needed. I reached out to a close friend but she couldnt send it right away (a week after pa) and i needed it immediately. I thought “lumapit na kaya ako sa kapatid ko?” but i was hesitant kasi nakakahiya and i didn’t want them to think i am a failure. So my friend pushed me na mag message na sa kapatid ko and sabihin na babayaran na lang a week after and siya na lang magpapahiram.
So i mustered up the courage to message one of my siblings. I said na i’lm just gonna get a loan to pay him (it was a huge amount).
I was crying nung nagreply siya due to so much stress and relief din. Hindi siya nagtanong anong nanngyari, hindi niya pinaramdam sakin na failure ako. Sinabi lang niya agad na magsesend siya ng need ko and na wag na ako mag loan at bayaran ko na lang pag kaya ko na. Tinanong pa niya ako if may panggastos pa ba ako.
That’s when i realized bakit ba ako nag hesitate lumapit sa sarili kong kapatid when i know they’re good people?
Yung takot na meron ako growing up because of our mom i think dala dala ko pa rin.
But i feel so grateful. And kung mabubuhay man ako ulit, i don’t want the same parents but i’d forever choose my siblings now to be my siblings again.