When I was in college, I left the Catholic Church and considered myself an atheist for many years. About 7 years ago, I started attending an Episcopal Church. I have found this church to be very spiritually healing for me. It is lgbtq affirming, (the priest has a child who is openly non-binary) and it is just a socially conscious community of people who also have a history of religious trauma. Even my husband who is an atheist enjoys attending with me because of the community. I think that one of the things that has been so healing for me (besides a year of EMDR), is the church's focus on God is love. No exceptions. This is so different than what I grew up hearing, where the homilies and CCD lessons focused on how I was inherently bad and why it was important that I followed the rules so that God would find me worthy of love.
You would think that my mom would be happy that I am actively involved in a church. Instead, she is still upset with me about this decision. She actively tries to get my high school confirmation sponsor, my sister, and my dad to try to convince me to no longer be Catholic. She also loves to say passive aggressive things like “I'm praying for you” which is such a triggering phrase for me. It is so deep that I was actually surprised when my mom decided to attend my daughter's baptism.
Besides my own mommy issues, I think that my story really demonstrates how messed up and harmful Catholicism can be. My mom did not give a crap when I was an atheist, but I think becoming Episcopalian made it real for her. And her frustration seems to be on the embarrassment she perceives with having a daughter who left the church. She even went to her priest to ask for advice about me. There is such a focus on Catholicism being “the mother church.” It is so deeply ingrained in her to focus on being a member of the “right church” rather than finding a faith community where you can foster your own spirituality and relationship with God. I'm in such a good place, and she doesn't care. In her eyes, I'm just practicing a bastardized version of Catholicism because I disagree with the church's stance on lgbtq issues and had other negative experiences. It is so much more than that, but I guess it's just too hard for her to understand.
Has anyone else had similar experiences? I emotionally divorced from my mom a while ago, so I really am okay. I've just been reflecting on how harmful these teachings that we grew up with can be.
Thanks for listening.