So this is one of those stories where I need you to understand something right away…
I was not just out here making random bad decisions for fun.
Before all of this, I had already escaped a really toxic relationship. And somehow—because life clearly said “round two?”—I ended up in another one.
Yeah.
So when I finally got out of that second situation, I told myself:
“We are NOT doing that again.”
I took real time for myself. No dating. No distractions. Just me trying to figure out how I ended up in the same situation twice.
And eventually… I got to a place where I felt ready again.
Confident. Smarter.
…or so I thought.
Because that’s when I downloaded Tinder.
And that’s where I met… this man.
Let’s just call him Jack… you know… short for jackass.
At first, Jack seemed normal.
Like… suspiciously normal.
We’d text throughout the day, he’d say the right things, ask about my life—nothing over the top, just enough to feel like, “okay… this is normal.”
We went on a few actual dates too. He showed up, was polite, nothing weird.
And after everything I’d been through, that felt like a green flag.
But then the little things started happening.
And I mean little lies. The kind where you pause for half a second like:
“Hmm… that’s weird…”
…and then you ignore it.
Yeah. Those.
Like one time, we had plans… and he just didn’t show up.
No call. No text. Nothing.
I’m sitting there trying not to spiral, thinking maybe something actually happened.
So I call. Text. Nothing.
Then later he finally responds with this whole story about how he slipped getting out of the shower, hit his head, passed out, woke up, and went to urgent care.
And I remember just sitting there like:
“…that feels dramatic.”
But also…
Who lies about that??
So instead of trusting my gut, I went with:
“Oh my god are you okay??”
Then there was the steak dinner night.
And listen… I showed UP for that one.
Steak, mashed potatoes, asparagus, salad — like a full, legit meal. I was PROUD proud.
He was supposed to come over…
…and I cannot get ahold of him.
Calls. Texts. Nothing.
So eventually I’m like, okay… cool… guess I’m eating alone.
So I sit down with my plate… and my dog.
And honestly?
10/10 dinner guest.
On time. Appreciative. Didn’t forget the plans. He was a good dog♡ rip my sweet boy♡
Around 11:30 PM, there’s a knock at my door.
I open it…
…and it’s Jack.
Wasted.
Like… if walking straight was a requirement, he was already disqualified.
And this man looks at me and says
“I’m here for my steak dinner.” slurring every word.
…
Sir.
I try to call him out on being drunk, and he’s like:
“I was gonna come over, but my friends dragged me to the bar.”
And I’m sitting there thinking:
“…so you couldnt call or text me??”
But instead of pushing it…
…I let it go.
Because apparently I was still in my “give him the benefit of the doubt” era.
We keep dating.
And again, he’d have moments where he’d act completely normal. Texting me good morning, checking in, making plans…
Just enough to keep me thinking maybe those weird moments were one-offs.
Then comes another night we were supposed to hang out.
And suddenly he’s “busy.”
Tells me he joined this “big brother” mentoring program and had to go do that instead.
And I remember thinking:
“Aww… that’s actually really sweet.”
Looking back?
That was just another excuse to not show up.
Then one day he plans a surprise trip and tells me to pack a bag.
And I’m thinking:
“Okay… this is it. He's really trying”
We get to the cabin…
Bed bugs.
We were immediately disgusted.
So we pack everything up and leave, and at this point it’s late, so we go back to his place.
And honestly, by then I was just like… okay, whatever, let’s just salvage the night.
I go to throw something away in the bathroom trash can…
…and I see a condom in the bag.
And I just kind of pause.
Because now I’m like:
“…we’re not ignoring this one.”
So I ask:
“Hey… what is this?”
And this man looks me dead in the eyes and says:
“You know how guys use socks to… handle things? I just wanted to see what it was like with a condom.”
…
I’m sorry.
WHAT.
Like you have GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.
And the worst part?
Instead of reacting how I should have…
I just stood there like:
“…okay.”
Because at this point I had clearly committed to making questionable decisions.
A few days later, he picks me up in the morning so we can hang out.
But then he tells me he wants to go work out…
So he says I can just go hang out at his place while he goes to the gym.
And again, I’m like… okay, sure.
I’m at his place by myself.
He leaves.
Then comes BACK like a minute later, goes straight to the bathroom, grabs the trash, ties it up real quick, throws it in the kitchen…
…gives me a kiss and says:
“I just wanted to clean up a bit before we go out.”
…and then leaves again.
And I’m sitting there like:
“What in the suspicious criminal activity was that??”
So obviously… I open the trash bag.
Another condom. But not just one, there was 2.
At this point, I’m not sad.
I’m not confused.
I am DONE.
So I dump the entire trash bag out all over his coffee table.
Wrappers, condoms—everything.
Full crime scene display.
And I sit there.
Waiting.
He comes home.
Sees me.
Sees the table.
Just… stands there.
And I go:
“Do you want to explain what’s going on? Because I KNOW this is not a new hobby.”
And Jack says—
He has a gambling addiction.
And he goes to the casino…
…and sleeps with women for money…
…to fund his gambling.
At that point?
I didn’t even care if it was true.
I was DONE.
I told him I was leaving.
Made him drive me home.
And the last thing I said was:
“You need to get your life together. You’re 37 years old acting like a college kid.”
Update:
That was years ago.
I’m now happily married, we’ve been together for 7 years, and I have three beautiful kids.
Life is peaceful. It’s safe. It’s everything I used to hope for.
And honestly?
That whole situation taught me something I’ll never forget—
It’s not about whether someone is lying.
It’s about whether you’re willing to ignore what you already know. Always trust your gut instinct fellow potatoes!