u/Complex-Substance352

Let me just cut straight to the chase. My manager at work has tried to give me peanuts, stuff that clearly has nuts on it, or in it on more than one occasion. Everytime she claims she just forgets but I have been working under her for 2 years now. Both of our boss also has a nut allergy, although only to peanuts and not all nuts. She always seems to remember her allergy but never mine. Im not sure if it’s just her not caring to learn or remember things about me or just genuinely forgetting but it happens at least once a month or every couple months, whenever events happen or we get treats in the office. Also today she offered me a plate with a peanut donut and 2 others on it. I said that one clearly has nuts on it cannot have them. Then she was just like what about these 2. (Having already been touched by the one with nuts) and I had to tell her again no, are you trying to send me home or kill me ? Im not sure if this is something I should tell HR about or not. This same manager is also generally disliked by those under her for not hearing her employees concerns, micromanaging, and explaining things as if we are children or stupid completely demeaning us. Feels very shitty someone I should have a normal work place relationship with genuinely does not care about my well being and cannot trust me to do my work without the hovering or over explaining simple tasks. Whenever she tries to make small talk it just comes off as so fake and like she’s talking just to talk and not actually hear or listen to what we are saying. This same manager also insists that we are all one team and wants us to bond and do things outside of work together. Why would I want to do anything with someone who I am around every day they can’t even remember a basic fact about me ? Any help or advice would be appreciated.