u/Complex-Sandwich-669

So recently I had an incident at work, I’m a bartender and the only employee at my job aside from my manager. I had a really ridiculous night with a customer a couple days before today and I definitely let loose on him while telling him to get the hell out of my bar. I don’t tolerate racist speech in my workplace.

Well after he left and I closed I really lost it. I have bipolar 1 and I’ve also had an insane week personally with a death in the family just 6 days ago. In my “meltdown” during my close I punched a giant industrial metal freezer. If you’re ever worked in a kitchen at all then you know the kind I’m talking about.

Today my boss came in and said that the owner, after reviewing the cameras, has decided I have completely broken said freezer door and it must be replaced and he wants $400 by the end of the week.

Well I said he can take me to court if that’s how he feels. Then they proceeded to fire me.

Once I get home around 3 hours go by before I get a call that I don’t answer (unknown number) then they leave me a voicemail stating it’s the police department and they are reaching out regarding an incident at my work on that night.

So now I’m here asking Reddit as this is pretty uncharted territory for me. I don’t really think thy would take me to court. These people are insanely lazy and I know a lot of the paperwork going into proving that would be too much work.

So I feel if I speak to the police at all I’m just digging own grave. But I need advice on what I should do and what to expect?

I’ve been the only employee for 8 months. I’ve been drowning at this job working every day ope to close and giving everything to maintain it and bring more customers in. And this is how I’m thanked. I have one bad night and that’s it. Forget all my loyalty. Expendable.

Any help is appreciated. I don’t think they can really do anything. And I don’t think I have to speak to the cops at all. But I’m not sure.

So quick run down, I’m a Bartender at a pretty shithole little bar in the Midwest. Small town. Lots of bars, not a lot of people. I have 2-3 regulars, all older gentlemen 60+ and they are very politically opinionated to say the least.

I try to keep politics out of the bar while I’m tending it. I don’t think anything good comes from it and it’s a place to drink not discuss your ideology and worldviews.

Any fast forward to tonight and my regular we will call him BOB well Bob was my only customer for most of my shift, as the night came to a close he started going on and on about supporting Israel and this and that and a bunch of political BS. I’ve had a long week, I told him that when I got there, a family member of mine passed away, I’ve been very stressed out.

A little back story, I’m the only employee at my bar, so it gets to be a lot seeing them open to close every single day.

Well as he wraps up his last drink and he continues to drunkenly spew rhetoric. I’m usually good about biting my tongue. I’ve done this a long time. But tonight after the blatant racial slurs and N-word usage. Going on about immigrants and supporting Israel (if it isn’t clear our beliefs conflict.) and I lost it.

Last few moments I lost it and I went off on him and told him to get the fuck out of my bar. That he disgusts me and I hope he dies alone (he’s upset he wired his whole life and has no family now) so I mean I really let it out at him.

Bob looked shocked, and I feel regret but I was fuming so bad I swear I could have ripped his head off with my bare hands.

I told him to leave and I was closing I’m sick of hearing this type of shit. He’s disgusting.

I mean I lost it so bad I locked the doors and I started crying just shaking I was so upset. (I have bipolar 1 and sometimes the emotions get the best of me)

I haven’t decided if I should apologize. Clearly it’s happened but I don’t want him in my bar, I want his money. And as my only customer damn near I can’t afford to run him out. And ya know Bob and I have talked a lot and I feel for him. I’ve helped him with social or relationship advice and many other things. And I see the good heart he has. I know he’s misguided or listens to the news too much or whatever but deep down he’s a good guy with good intentions just doing them wrong.

I’m filled with a lot of guilt now. I said some harsh things in the moment. I’m sure he will come back (assuming I keep my job) and we will talk and I’ll say ya know that’s why I don’t let politics in the bar. Even I can’t handle it all the time. But when I left all shaken up, he was still outside standing by his car. I feel bad. I don’t want him to kill himself and truly I just want him to be more open hearted to his fellow man. But either way here we are.

So if you made it this far. How should I feel? Did I overreact too much? I feel really bad. But I also still wanna strangle the guy. I feel so conflicted. Thanks for taking the time to read this. What should I do?