u/CompleteSea5715

I’m a single dad of two and I feel like I’m stuck in a situation I can’t get out of. I recently went through a child support review, and even though I got a better paying job just to keep up with everything, my support payments went up again. On paper it probably looks like I’m doing better, but in reality I’m not.

About 30% of my income goes straight to child support. The rest goes to rent, bills, and debt. By the time everything is paid, I’m left with around $150 for the month.

I do what I can with that. I buy basic food like PB&Js and ramen to try to make it stretch. But my oldest is getting close to being a teenager, and when he’s here and hungry, I feel awful not being able to provide more. He’s mentioned getting tired of eating the same things when he’s here, and I don’t blame him,but it still hurts to hear.

I show up for my kids. I’ve been at their games and practices, and stayed involved in their lives no matter what. I love them more than anything.I tried to fight for 50/50 custody because I want to be more involved, but I couldn’t afford to keep going. I didn’t have money for a lawyer, and I felt outmatched. Now it feels like I’m stuck...if I work more, I can afford support, but then I have less time with my kids. If I try to get more time, I risk not being able to support myself and my kids while they are with me.

It feels like an endless loop and I don’t know how I’m supposed to get ahead. I’m not trying to avoid responsibility. I just feel overwhelmed and honestly kind of hopeless.

The kids recently went on a big vacation with their mom, and while I’m happy they get to have those experiences, it’s hard not to compare sometimes. I just hope the time I spend with them and the memories we make are enough

Hi everyone, I just joined and I’m looking for some advice on a situation.

I have a son (28M) who has been with his wife (26F) for about 5 years now. He has two kids from a previous relationship (6 and 10), and both kids are in sports.

Due to my son’s work schedule, he isn’t always able to take them to games or practices during his parenting time. His wife is usually home with them when he’s working, but she’s made it clear she doesn’t feel it’s her responsibility to take them to activities, appointments, or things like that.

I’ll admit that it also bothers me that she doesn’t always attend their games or events, even when she could. I just don’t really understand that, because when I was in my twenties, I was also a stepmom and I was very involved. I made sure the kids got where they needed to be and showed up for them.

She said it’s not her “job,” which I guess is where I struggle.

I know every household is different and I don’t want to overstep because I understand it’s ultimately their responsibility as parents. I just can’t help but feel confused by the difference in approach and what role a stepparent should take on. It’s certainly not what I’m used to.

Is this just how things are nowadays...?

TL;DR: My daughter in law isn’t very involved in my grandkids activities, and I’m trying to understand what level of involvement is typical for a stepparent.