u/Complete-Register622

I get extreme delusions that everyone is secretly against me, and I become mean to the very little people I have that care about and support me. I also have OCD, so when I’m not having an episode, I convince myself I’m a sociopath and can’t feel empathy or else I wouldn’t treat the people I love like this. Then I convince myself I don’t really love them, that I’m evil. I’ll finally think clearly again and hope I’m not really a “bad” person or else my circle wouldn’t still be around me, but then I convince myself they secretly hate me and they’re against me, isolate myself and push them away, blow them off, and the cycle starts all over again. It really just becomes a loop I’m stuck in. Does anyone understand what this feels like too?