u/Complete-Principle89

I (28M) was dumped by my gf (24F), who I dated for 2 years. We had a good relationship, both loved each-other, did stuff on our own and with friends quite often, dates, camping, etc…. We had our rough patches, and I could have been a way better boyfriend (especially towards the end) but she could have also been a better girlfriend.

She broke up with me because I was not doing enough to meet her needs (affection & words of affirmation). She said she still loved me, and I definitely still loved her. We small talked via text for two weeks after the breakup, nothing great, just mainly me trying to keep some hope alive. Fast forward she informed me we need to stop contact, I agreed. Later she unfollows me and un adds me on everything, ok fair. The next week I hear she is moved on, isn’t thinking about me in the slightest, misses nothing about me, and has a new boyfriend (coworker). It has now been three months and she is a ghost in my life. I was told from one of her friends she is never going to talk to me again and will never reply to me… I literally don’t understand how it went from a pretty cordial breakup to me now feeling like I am a terrible person…

I get I wasn’t a great boyfriend, but I don’t feel like I deserve this kind of treatment… she worked her way into my life, and I was willing to let her after several careful months, and then I get stabbed in the heart like this…

Part of me is jealous of the way she is handling the breakup. She was so immature the whole relationship, but is somehow handling the breakup so much more maturely than I am…. The whole situation makes me feel really forgettable and replaceable…. I really did try to be a decent boyfriend, I just failed at being her boyfriend…

She was also the nicest girl I ever met. I never saw her or heard talk bad about anyone. She always made sure I was happy and loved. She picked up on all the little things I love so quickly. I don’t understand how I’m just ragweed now.

I’m trying my best to move on, and I’m getting there with time. I just wish I didn’t hear the “doesn’t miss you in the slightest” part… That is really messing with me….

Man breakups are so much harder than they should be… one moment I’m thankful for all of this, the next I am crying…. Heartbreak is far from linear, and honestly the hardest blessing I have received. Currently crying, we’ll see what the morning brings…

I am slowly moving from my EX. I see how incompatible we really were, although we did love eachother.

But I do not think I will ever be able to fully detach. We will likely never get back together, but I still will always think of her in some way. I am wishful someday we will be friends again at least.

Is this stupid or is fully detaching actually more unhealthy long term? I know if i fully detach then I have to forget the good things, I’m not really into that personally. I know this may prolong healing, but it is also healing in itself.

Am I cooked thinking like this?

I (28M) was dumped by GF of 2 years after she felt I did not love her and I did the bare minimum….

I reached out multiple times the first two weeks of the breakup. I was getting responses, but they were pretty cold and they didn’t have much weight behind them. Once the responses started to fade, I reacted poorly and wrote a poorly written letter about how much I love her blah blah, and I dropped it off at her house. She followed up a few days later with saying she didn’t know what to say to it, and that it’s gonna hurt more if we keep talking. I respected her and said apologies and goodbye.

I think I reached out about 6-7 times along with the letter and a phone call during these first two weeks (before she said we need to stop talking). I feel really dumb about it now, because she did not want to talk and I kept trying… and honestly it was coming from a desperation point of view, and not even a progressive, supportive way. Again I was being reactive and very emotional.

I think this pissed her off more as she broke up with me for the lack of communication and affection. Then the second she left me I tried begging and doing the things that she wanted from me the whole time.

I spent the next 5 weeks writing, doing therapy, talking with friends, etc…. I wrote a master letter over that time that I really did not want to send, but it just ate at me and I ended up sending it. I needed to get the weight off my chest and I did not expect a response. I included a massive thank you, my apologies, and my sincere happiness for her future, along with my final goodbye and good luck.

I knew this was selfish, as she made it clear she does not want me to reach out (kinda wish she just blocked me so it didn’t send). I did say in the letter I do not deserve or expect a response, and apologies for being selfish and sending this. I don’t regret sending it, but cannot lie it hurt a little to get nothing at all in response.

Was this stupid of me to send and as the dumper would this just piss you off even more. We did truly love each other and had a good 2 years together, but I feel like I just wiped away all the good memories from her head with the way I handled this breakup…

My ex (f24) dumped me and moved on in about 2 weeks, with a new guy. The following week I heard she moved in with him!

I understand the moving on part, but moving in with a new guy 3 weeks after a 2 year relationship ended is not normal right? We were getting close to moving in together, but I held my ground and wanted to wait a little longer than she did.

Someone tell me this is not normal behavior? Or am I over thinking it?

Adding some context - it was a coworker so not a complete stranger. Still not normal right?

For context. I was dumped roughly 6 weeks ago by my GF of 2 years. I was a decent boyfriend and tried to be as fun as possible, but I got complacent and I also let past issues hinder my ability to show the love and affection that was needed to maintain a healthy relationship… I also passive aggressive with my feelings, rather than simple communication. I feel so terrible about that, but it’s too late to fix that. I am currently working on how to show love and affection properly, how to communicate, etc… but unfortunately I don’t think it will be for her…

Anyway I heard she moved on quickly… within a couple weeks had a new man, was moving in with him, and was 100 percent moved on. This hurt a lot, but something more recently that I hear is really hurting me the most. I heard directly from one of her friends that “she doesn’t miss you at all”. That one stings way more than anything else I heard. I understand the moving on, the non responses, the space, but how can someone say that about a person they were in love with? I look back and now I just can’t help to think that I straight up just sucked as a boyfriend, left no good memories, and this new guy is so much better than me, that I am just ragweed…. I feel so bad that I made it this easy for her to just forget about me…. I really did try, and I thought we had a lot of good memories, but now I just feel like it was maybe just good memories for myself….

I know I should be comparing myself, and I need to just move on. But man I cant lie when I say I just don’t believe it, call that a cope on its own, but I don’t think people truly work like that. Or do they? I guess I’ve just always been on this end of things…. Can some people really just feel like that after a relationship where we both did love each other for that amount of time? To be fair I think the last few weeks of the relationship, she felt I didn’t love her…