u/Complete-Interest254

Idk if I have some mental disability or some shit, it's the only reason I can think of as to why I'm like this. I can't come up with any real response other than "cool", "yeah", "ye", "that sucks", "etc, etc" whatever the fuck. I can't say anything remotely engaging or relatable to other people in a conversation. I wanna rip my fucking hair out when I have to talk because I can't formulate a response better than a 5 year old. I bet even a 5 year old could have better fucking conversations than me. I must have processing issues or something, because I just can't think of anything on the spot. I just say single word sentences In the moment, but literally 10 seconds after I'll have thought up a better response. I sound so fucking boring and like I'm an arrogant prick who doesn't wanna talk to people but I desperately wanna talk to people. I just fucking can't. It doesn't help that I'm paranoid about saying something wrong and some weird/popular kid latches onto that and tries to bully me for the rest of school. I just want my school life to be easy so I'm desperately scared of giving a reaction to the wrong person, and they keep harassing me to get a reaction put of me. I just can't fucking do anything. I'm not sure if im mentally disabled or something or if my lack of social interaction as a kid just messed me up. Then again even in school since kindergarten I've always been scared of speaking to people. Idk, I always worry the way I personally went about interacting to people when I was younger messed me up for the future without me realizing. I wish I wasn't like this