My 38f, husband 40m (J), recently become better friends with a coworker 32f(C). They don't see each other, but got along well in some meetings and started texting each other about work issues. I wasn't exactly ok with it, but didn't see anything wrong with it.
In the past couple days he said something was off with their conversations. He showed me the text exchange asking what I thought. She was, IMO heavily flirting with him. She made comments like, "I'm having such a hard day, I said to myself 'where is J, I need him!' ". Complained about her BF and said the relationship is over he just doesn't know it yet. She relies on him so much emotionally because her life is such a dumpster fire. She then make a joke about how "there wasn't even any nipple" referring to a picture taken at work. Again this all happened in a few days and it was the nipple joke that made him question things.
I told him she hit several red flags, she shouldn't be relying on him emotionally for anything. I don't like the idea that another woman feels comfortable enough to say she "needs him". Why is she bringing up her failed relationship to someone she's never spoke about this too before? And the joke about not seeing his nipple? This is classic toe dipping, had he responded in a flirty way back it would have escalated I'm sure.
He replied back that he kinda felt that conversation turned flirty, he accepted responsibility, and said it wasn't respectful to either of their relationships. He said he wanted to keep their friendship but make sure they keep topics off personal matters. She claimed total ignorance on the issue and said "i know how committed you are to your wife". She has since ceased communication with him, she's also told a couple mutual friends at work that its incredibly weird he thought she was hitting on him, when that's just her sense of humor.
He claims I ruined a friendship, while he's not too broken up about, he does say it was my fault. He never suspected she was hitting on him. I think it makes perfect sense she stopped talking to him. He called her out and didn't respond playfully the way she wanted. He embarrassed her by turning her down. A few of his friends are in agreement with me, but he just doesn't see it. Did I read more into these texts than necessary?
So, aita for bringing attention to what I considered flirting and suggesting he addresses it?