u/Comfortable_Fan_696

Do college marching band students party a lot? Is there lots of alcohol consumption within the marching band parties?

My son will be going to college soon and I'm just wondering what the scene might be like.

Thanks

I'm in a college choir. I just turned 20.

My choir director started crying and threw a chair during our rehearsal. Not at anybody specifically, but she threw it. She's had some personal stuff going on and she said she is tired of us not working hard.

I know this sounds like a fake post but I promise it's real. I grew up in a violent house so I have no idea what's normal or not.

The director announced the show for next year. A lot of the kids hate it. Like, considering quitting because it really is that bad.

I'm not just talking about my own two children. About half the band. (And I'm a former member.) I agree it's pretty lame. And I'm not sure that I - as an active member of the boosters - can agree to spend hard-earned money on arranging and building props and buying silks and whatever for a show design that 50% of the kids loathe.

If it were just my own offspring, I'd tell them to suck it up and hope that the show design is better than they expect. But it's not just my crotch goblins. I am that one who drives a lot of kids at 2 am after football games. Those kids are messaging Miss Rachel and asking "doesn't this sound lame?"

It does.

Usually there's a vote for the next year's show. Not this time. And I don't know exactly how to address this without giving my kids permission to quit or just making them a target if I criticize.

Any advice?

I have a director I go back to every fall for shows, as he runs an outside company so he can do more mature and advanced shows than school (I’m a high schooler btw).

However, this past year we did Grease and it was literal hell, rehearsals from 6-9:30 after school with ten minutes for dinner (6-10/7-11 with no dinner break during tech), he would yell at us when we got antsy or distracted, delaying rehearsal and keeping us longer (he once kept us a whole extra hour), and refused to compromise for people’s comfort (no stage kissing, the kisses had to be real, refused to change script language even when slurs and both Jans expressed discomfort w the rampant fat phobia in the script, said “come on guys none of you have cooties” when our Marty and Vince Fontaine were uncomfortable with playing out what was pretty much a predator scenario, etc). It was awful, I’d go home crying most nights.

But this year, I still feel a need to go back. I’ve worked with him for almost ten years atp, it’s the only time I see most of my friends. But when I think of not doing it I get this feeling of dread. I’ve told multiple people I’m going back and the response has been “please don’t”. So I guess I’m turning to Reddit now lmao. Would this be abuse, and should I go back? Be soooo brutally honest lmao. Thanks :)

So we just had a band trip. On the bus ride home i made it very clear to a guy in my section that i was going to sleep. He continued to sit in the empty seat next to me anyway. I was looking at my phone and out of the corner of my eye i could see him hold out his phone to the left and take 3-5 pictures of me. He then opened them and stared at them for a couple minutes and was zooming in on my face and chest. He has no idea that i was paying attention. I've never had anything like this happen so i don't know who to go to to report him or anything in general. At my school the counselors honestly don't do that much except help with class scheduling and stuff like that. I'm extremely close with both of my band directors but i honestly dont see a point in reporting him anyway. I'm graduating in 2 weeks and its not like i have any proof of anything. I just don't know what to do

Edit: on another note i say "guy in my section" but he's really one of my good friends. I've known he has a thing for me for awhile. Our parents have come to be really good friends as well which makes this suck even more. I just keep thinking what if this was a huge mistake he made and reporting him would just cause him more pain you know?

Most of us have seen videos about people hating band camp, and I get it. Band camp sucks when you have to listen to people complaining about every little thing. But I get it. Its early in the morning, we're all tired and sweating, but honestly the more ive done marching band, the more ive realized that its really not that bad and one of my favorite times of the season..yes, its hot, yes its painful, but when its over? I always realize how much fun ive had. I always make memories at band camp, new friends, I get to teach the first years things and feel useful. I used to just use it to get away from home but now I go because I want to be a good band member. I still dread going in, but im always happy leaving, thinking if the things we got done, the new music we're gonna work on next, new things we're gonna add, and how im closer to my last day of band with every practice. I think band camp is overhated, and I hope we can all have a good time this season :)

For reference, I came from a highly competitive high school, and almost every extra curricular that involved some kind of physicality was highly regarded in some form or another.

With that being said, you can also probably guess that band was also extremely competitive.

Now that I've graduated and am finally out of the circles and cliques I was exposed to for four years, I've started wondering how toxic that kind of environment was for me at a high school age. The physical tax on my body even now, constant favoritism, belittling and a lack of one on one support from my directors killed it for me when I got into my upperclassman years. The constant "we need to be number one!" made me rude to other people, I began to resent being kind even when I didn't have to because I was gaslighting myself into having a bigger head to ignore the fact that I just wasn't happy, etc etc.

When I did jazz for about three out of the four years, I finally got into the highest ensemble, and instead of celebrating it, I felt like I didn't deserve it. I felt like I whined my way in there when really, I knew how to play. I think a lot of my confidence felt squandered. When we started playing, it felt like freshman year again where I just didn't feel good enough. I never felt like I was on the level of others despite wanting to.

I'm a freshman in college now, joined band for the scholarship opportunities and potential friendships, and because we're smaller, I realized for the first time in years just how much skills I had learned and didn't even realize. Many people asking for help or assistance daunted me.

Don't get me wrong; I'm grateful for my time in band. I wouldn't trade it for the world. I made a lot of friends, got to go a lot of places, and did things that I would've never gotten to do otherwise. I will never discourage someone going into high school from doing it.

If anyone has had a similar experience, let me know.