u/Comfortable-Comb8787

I was not close with my dad when I was young, My parents were divorced. When I was 11 they remarried so we all lived together. I was indifferent towards him and maybe even trying to have a relationship with him. But something changed. I have no idea what it was. I just remember hating him. So much that I couldn’t be in the same room as him. I would stay in my room whenever he was home. I even lived in our camper one summer so I didn’t have to be in the house. I know for a fact that he was not a good person. Him and my mom fought all the time. He was angry, demanding, controlling, but honestly didn’t care about us kids and I was fine with that cause we didn’t care for him either. At 14 I was hospitalized, I had been battling depression for some time and I was suicidal. When I left the hospital, they told me o could not live with him anymore so I had to move in with my ain’t and uncle. When I moved out and went to college I started having these recurring dreams of him raping me and my mom was there and I would yell for her to help me and she wouldn’t. The dreams felt so real. But I don’t have any memories of hm abusing me sexually. But when I told my sister what dreams I was having she did not act surprised. Neither did my mom. But she told me she had to have proof it of happening before she would leave him. Is it possible he actually do something and I just do not remember at all? Or can your brain convince you of something that didn’t happen? I am 40 now and have grappled with this my entire adulthood.