For the last 8 months my parents have been struggling in their relationship. My sister and I (33F) have been dragged into various conversations involving the personal dynamics between our parents. On numerous occasions, my parents have visited my family, upset on arrival with each other and disrupted the vibe.
My sister and I have grown up asking my parents if they are okay when they look and seem upset and have always tried to fix it.
Last fall, I had a discussion with my parents and sister to address concerns about their relationship. It went very poorly and resulted in my mom (pwBPD) lashing out at my sister because my sister referenced something from her childhood that my mom did and said and my mom refused to believe it was true (I witnessed it so it was true). Since then, my sister and I have been scapegoated. It’s been very disorienting. My parents have now resorted to emailing me their thoughts and feelings, no matter how unhinged. They even address emails to my 18 month daughter that we are supposed to read to her that are extremely inappropriate.
I’m trying to set more boundaries and it seems like things are getting worse. I’m receiving more negative feedback than ever. It feels relentless, it’s draining, and it affects pretty much every activity I do. I’m forbidden from using the phrase “I’m busy and have a lot going on” and “I feel like I am walking on eggshells.” I feel so lost and I’m in therapy. I’m grateful for this subreddit for helping me understand that it’s not me. Does the “at a loss feeling” subside?