Hi everyone,
This is my first time posting here, but I have found a lot of support reading through the stories in this sub. Today marks 67 days since I last used, which feels like a huge milestone, but I am feeling really anxious about a concert I am attending alone tomorrow.
My fear is specifically about the environment. I am worried that someone next to me will offer me something and that I will be too caught up in the music and the vibe to say no. I also have to be honest that I haven't thrown out my old paraphernalia yet. I haven't been tempted to use it, but I worry that keeping it feels like I am giving myself a mental pass for the night, a sort of safety valve I haven't closed.
I am torn between wanting to prove I can be disciplined in a high risk environment and the nagging voice telling me I might be setting myself up to fail. If I go and I hold the line, I would love to hear how others managed that. But honestly, if I end up slipping, I am also looking for a little grace. I do not want to beat myself up into a spiral if I mess up. I just want to know how to pick myself back up.
Has anyone else navigated a solo concert in early recovery? Is it brave to go, or is it setting myself up to fail?
Thanks in advance for any thoughts.