My girlfriend (22F) and I (24F) started dating about two months ago. She is bisexual and has had sexual encounters with women but never been in a committed relationship with another woman until now. Her and her parents are very close. She described them to me as helicopter parents who have continuously made all of her life choices her entire life. They have molded her to rely on them for acceptance of every choice she makes. They have access to her bank account, life360, etc. I think they are just parents who really care about their daughter and I wouldn’t necessarily care but the issue is that she came out to them about dating me.
They flipped out. Told her that she was an embarrassment to the family, had better not tell anyone, don’t even tell her brother, that her grandmother would die if she found out, why is she rebelling, shes throwing away all of the things they have done for her to set her up for success, that it’s not right, she needs to start going back to church, this isn’t her etc etc. Those are all things they said to her in reply to her telling them she was dating another woman.
It hurts so bad to know that they don’t approve and I can’t imagine how she feels either. Her parents have been sending her very emotionally manipulative messages like “come back to me, i’ll be waiting for my baby” and stuff like that. Pretty much saying she isn’t her and she’s brain washed and just needs to go back to normal.
I’m worried that because she has always been so close to her parents and so dependent on them that their emotional manipulation is going to eventually work. Especially because I think about the fact that she is bisexual so maybe she will eventually decide that dating me isn’t worth the strain on her family relationships when she could just find a man that she likes.
It’s been giving me such severe anxiety about her breaking up with me over the guilt of her family’s disapproval. I want to be a supportive partner but how can I feel secure in this relationship? It also sucks knowing that if we were together long term, I wouldn’t be accepted at family events like Christmas, Thanksgivings, etc.
Please can anyone give me some advice on how to handle this? I love her so much but this is such an awful feeling.