u/Cold-Parsley709

I’m going to try and condense this as much as possible. My ex and I met at 21 and 22, we had a rough start as I disclosed to him my HSV status and he didn’t handle it well. Regardless, we end up dating. We were long distance for 1.5 of the 3 years we were together (we in at college). He was a professional athlete and was mostly in Europe besides the summers. He was “broke”, so I paid to go visit him in his hometown. Paid for quit literally everything. This happened on multiple occasions. One time i caught him on the phone with some girl while i was there. He cheated on me with her. Also never posted me on social media due to my HSV status (he didn’t want anyone to know since he was a “pro”) which made no sense because the only people who know are those I have disclosed to. He pretty much used that as a coo out anytime I held him accountable. As horrible as he sounds, we did have some good times and i genuinely loved him. We had a lot of chemistry and that played a big role. He also could always make me laugh, but he wrecked my mental health at the same time. Anyways, fast forward we break up. 2 year have gone by. I met a great man, I actually knew him previously just as friends. He does everything a girl could dream of, prioritized me, does not hold my status over my head, values me, etc. I never have to worry about other females, and he is just inherently a good person. However I find myself missing my ex and i feel that is unfair to him. I also am frustrated because my ex did come back around a couple months ago and has alleged he has changed over these past 2 years - not sure how much of that i believe. But anyways, i feel like he can give me now what ive always wanted from him, but i also have this great guy who didnt have to lose me to see how great i was. I hate i feel like this and i just don’t know what to do. This is also a minor detail but plays a role, intimacy with the ex is better than with the new guy, it’s not bad but comparatively my ex is better in that department. Am i insane? What would you do?

Hi everyone,

I’m just honestly having a horrible time and thought I’d hear others thoughts on what to do about this. To preface I am in law school which is stressful as is, but last semester I had a professor who’s cold call methods induced crippling anxiety and caused me to even have a silent panic attack in class one day. I got prescribed Wellbutrin to help with attention and anxiety, but I feel like the effects have plateaued. I also have been so obsessive over my looks lately and I don’t even feel like myself, I’m not sure what that is about or if it’s depersonalization/imposter syndrome. Idk I’m a mess honestly, but yesterday I was hyper fixated on my teeth and how I felt I ruined them with braces and just spiraled. Cried. Even though everyone told me how nice and pretty they are. I just don’t know what to do or how to manage this. Also on top of that we have oral arguments next week so my doctor prescribed propanalol (i think that’s how you spell it) to help with physical symptoms but I haven’t taken it yet bcs it is “as needed”. Opinions, advice, thoughts?