In all my life I never thought I would ever say I'm bad at 'crushes'. Even typing it feels humiliatingly immature, but here we are. I'm 13F and in 7th grade, woohoo. it sucks get me out of here. Anyway, I've been dealing with an on and off 'crush' I guess the past few years. I still can't really admit to myself how I really feel about this. I think I like this boy---keyword think---and I've long realized it's pretty obvious to everyone but me. And worst of all, it's likely not reciprocated. Hell, we've barely talked in two years. It hasn't been the same since we were younger.
If I'm being honest, he's just too good for me. And I realize this. What do I do here? I've kept this bottled up for a while, so maybe telling a few people here can help me cope with it. Do I just let it pass? I'm never one to be forward, and it's getting to be that time of year again where the 'you like so&so!' allegations come along. 'Oh, it's March, time for medieval torture method Tuesday.' Seriously, those kids are like vultures. and my dignity is dinner. I genuinely can't escape this, and I know even I act on these feelings it's bound to go wrong. I've already gone down this pathway and seen how it ended, and I don't want to hurt him. Not again. I was rude, cold, apathetic, and entirely petulant. It was uncalled for. I've grown up (literally) but I'm not sure I've grown up enough (figuratively) to deal with this. I just feel like a large child. Unknowing and powerless. I prefer to have some sense of control in my life, so this is kind of just a huge stress on my conscious.
I can't even act normal around him. please help lol this is pitiful