My ex (30m)and I (27f) broke up 2 years ago now. We were going out for 3 years and what seemed to be on the tracks to marriage at the time. We had our struggles like every relationship and one day he broke up with me over text (long distance) and refused to answer any phone calls , the break up was abrupt and robotic and he refused to have any major conversation with me about it. A ‘hey this is not working ‘ text and very short answers to anything I said after. A year later he sent a screenshot of a reminder text to book my annual dental appointment (for a country I don’t live in - he’s England , I’m Ireland so it seems obvious I wouldn’t need to see that reminder text) which was sent to his number - we had small chat after and that was it. We didn’t speak before this nor after. I truly loved this man and ever since then while I feel over the break up and some days am very grateful for the break up, I feel like he’s the only person I will ever truly love in this way. I’ve tried moving on and dating and I just have no interest in these people which is fine maybe they’re not good matches but part of me doesn’t want to find anyone else and feels that this unconditional love I have for him would be enough for me. I can accept him never coming back and that’s fine but a part of me feels will I always wonder if I never text him to let him know this??? Is it a bad idea to send a lowkey message to explain my feelings on this so I don’t regret not doing it for the rest of my life. If he says he doesn’t feel the same at least that’s my answer. I know some of the answers are going to say if he wanted to text you he would but 1) this is more for me in a sense? 2) he also is driven by pride that I don’t think he would ever send that kind of text first. 3) was him sending the screenshot of the dentist appointment an attempt to open the communication with me?
Please also bare in mind I made it clear when he text me re the dentist appointment that I would rather not chit chat ever again due to the hurt he caused me so now I’m afraid I’ve shut down the possibility of him ever contacting me even if he wanted to.
Is getting clarity worth the sting or will it overall make me feel worse and give him and ego boost.
It’s just the fact it’s been 2 years and I only want him still.
TL;DR should I text my ex because I’ve been thinking about him for 2 years now and am taking it as a sign maybe it’s worth fighting for