I’m Needing More Distance From Ex’s Family
My ex’s mom is lovely. She always has been, always will be.
My ex and I have a 7 year old child. Our coparenting relationship has always been great, aside from the last few months. We have been separated for 4 years. Never had to get a court order, we’ve always worked as a team parenting our child.
My ex’s mom tries to be very involved in my new life. I am now married and have another child. She wants to be called “grandma” by the new baby and constantly asks to go out for coffee and make plans.
Recently my ex started seeing a new woman. My ex’s mother has made it clear to this woman that she is not willing to let go of her and I’s relationship. This has caused issues between my ex and myself (ie: this woman is now not willing to meet me), mostly because I feel stuck. I’m a people pleaser and don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.
The mom wants us all to be best friends, but we’re all not comfortable with that. I know this is not fair to the new woman, and I want to change this. It’s also not fair to my new husband; he is also uncomfortable with our relationship.
I have recently been wanting to set more boundaries in place for the sake of coparenting in a healthy manner. I’ve been denying requests to coffee dates and hanging out, but the more I deny, the more pushy she becomes.
I need advice on how to set up more boundaries with her, but also to keep the relationship civil between families. How to kindly bring up the conversation.
I know she will be hurt, but the way things have gone the past few months, something needs to change. I want the new woman to feel comfortable (she’s good to my child), and our coparenting relationship to go back to what it was before. We need more separation and distance.