AITAH for refusing to attend another family event with my bf if his mother is there? LONG STORY!! ⚠️⚠️
I F(21) and my bf M(24) have been together for about 2 and a half years, and his mother 1000% HATES me and my guts. When I say hate I mean like pure hatred with no reasoning behind any of it, (example): On my bf birthday I gave him a belt that he had been wanting from LV and since I really do love him I got it for him.. But I guess his Mom F(42) was also planning on gifting that to him I got told to return the gift because “He would like it better from his mother”. I proceeded to tell his mother I won’t return a gift I spent around $1000 on for the guy I love, and I got told to leave if I was gonna be disrespectful towards her.
About 2 months later was thanksgiving, AKA one of the biggest family events there is. I was invited by my bf as his +1 even though his mom seems to not like me much. His mother and father stated that if you are coming to bring a dish, or drink, so we quickly stopped at Costco to get a pumpkin pie, which my bf told me his family has eaten before and enjoyed.. so I brought it to the dinner and after about an hour we were eating the “desserts” that everyone brought and when his mother saw the pie was in a tin with a tag on it, she yelled basically across the kitchen “who brought this pie?” and because I thought his family had eaten it before and loved it I gladly announced I brought it, and “shockingly” his mother scolded me about bringing store bought pie to a family gathering. My bf proceeded to bring up when they all ate this EXACT pie for a Sunday dinner and all loved it, her excuse was that it wasn’t appropriate for a family gathering and everyone should’ve brought homemade food. I went and sat in the car for about 25 or so minutes until my bf came out and we left.
After about a week I talked to him about his mothers pure hatred for me, and I know these may seem like “reasonable things” but behind this story, she does small childish behaviors like in “family” photos having me take them so I’m not in them, being stand off-ish towards me in conversations with semi large groups(5-8) , and even trying to convince Micheal (My bf) to look at “other options in women” because “I’m not a good fit, or really appeasing to look at”. (These are some of the small, childish things she does towards me)
The conversation consisted of me bringing up incidents of his mother legit just not liking me for existing, and his response made me feel great, he agreed that his mother is extremely rude to any girl he dates because “she doesn’t want him to leave her alone for a women who doesn’t love him” and how he doesn’t like bringing people around her because of things like this, he also stated that in a past relationship his mother was so rude that every women he dated (only about 3, me being the 4th) has broken up with him solely because of his mother, none if them were about him or things he has done. So I am not the only woman his mother has done this to.
Anyway fast forward to now (May 2026) I no longer attend family events, I missed his little sisters F(22)wedding, his brothers birthday party, and the annual family game night the have in April dedicated to their Uncle who passed, and supposedly his mother asked about me and even would tell people Micheal was single, and how his past relationship (me) was toxic and abusive.. after I was told this I texted her (mom) and sent her a paragraph that basically said “Making up lies about me like that is a drastic measure for you to go to, you don’t need to like me but don’t try to convince my bf to change his feelings towards me because your a jealous old women. You’re a jerk, and I never wanna speak to you again.” She was obviously really upset at me but I couldn’t make up the time to care. I now do not speak to his mother or aunt (sided with his mother, and has also called me a “place holder” girl for a while because she “didn’t know my name), I love his father, sisters and brother, and I am still dating Micheal as of May 26. Sorry for the long story but AITAH? should I have done something differently? or did I go at this correctly.