Dad defensive/in denial about rapidly declining health
I came to visit my parents for Mother’s Day today and was shocked to see how thin and frail my dad had gotten since I last saw him at the beginning of the year. He is a lifelong smoker, and at 65 years old, my mom and I have suspected for a few years he may be getting sick (gratefully, my mom quit several years ago) as he’s gotten thinner and thinner and his cough is horrible.
The thing is, he is incredibly defensive about his health. And I am not exaggerating when I say he is skin and bones, and now wearing sweatshirts and sweatpants in humid 95 degree heat. He has a chronic wheeze and cough and severe back pain but insists his doctor says everything is fine. He has also started rushing to do a number of home improvement projects he put off for years, which tells me he knows something is wrong and his time is limited. He gets angry when we press him on the topic or if my mom wants to go to a doctor with him, and now I really feel he could pass within the next few months.
This is also a trend in his family…his mother passed at age 54 and his brother at 46, both of lung cancer and both had long ignored serious symptoms until they were incredibly sick and weeks from dying.
I really don’t understand it and am curious if anyone else has had this issue. There is no financial reason he would not pursue medical intervention.
Welcome any thoughts on this.