I am a chronically ill (not bedbound yet but some days I am) disabled person in poverty, I am stuck with my abusive parent because I cant afford to live on my own, I deal with medical abuse and neglect routinely, and I have been in therapy since about 07'. I have been on nearly every medication and combination, I have had a multitude of therapists because medicaid many switch out.
Recently my Therapist has been acting strange, she had an emergency, then didnt speak to me for weeks, claimed in was my fault for not texting her and reaching out (when I told her I couldnt do one date because of a medical procedure, there are many, and to see about next week)
That recently happened again where I had to reschedule an appt because of a procedure, she never messaged me back so I had to ask again if she had a date and she claims she will have to see and will get back to me ASAP (has not yet)
attached to that is a huge text message:
"we also need to revisit the conversation i brought up a while back about therapy i understand that its valuable to have a safe place space to vent, and we also need to make sure we are incorporating true therapy and having more than solely venting sessions. im mentioning it in advance to have time to think and journal on the topic before our next session"
i have been in therapy 20 years i have never been told im not doing "true therapy" CBT and DBT are not going to fix poverty (future homelessness as well), disability, fascism coming for me, and health issues what the fuck is even this, explain what schema or method is going to help the, mostly, environmental factors I cant get out of that make me depressed?
I feel incredibly invalidated as therapy was my one "safe space" to speak about what I go through and now apparently I cant do that.
Ok I guess I journal...what? "today I disassociated for 12 hours, it kept me alive, took my meds, ate, slept 12 hours in pain"
I already practiced radical acceptance that I wont get anything I want in life, even a painfree day, and to just deal with that.
tf you want me to do?? wtf even is this
Im going to look into changing her. In all the years of therapy I have never been told this, now I have gotten the "goal talk" (the goal is to not off myself, thats it. Thats literally it, there is no movement for goals) but not this